Starting out with a little song to get us in the right frame of mind to learn what God taught me today. Hope it lifts your spirit as well.

okay, okay, okay... I know that part of starting this blog was to keep me more consistent with my daily Bible reading and praying and the journaling (of sorts) was to be done here - with y'all keeping me honest by holding me accountable. However, I am realizing that this journaling stuff is pretty intense and it can be very deeply personal. I realize each day I write something down, I just don't know how I can share some of those intimate details of my family with strangers and loved ones. I am okay with sharing the parts about me, but the parts about what's going on with me in regards to my family, not so much.. I don't have that permission or authority. So, you may not see me for a few days here and there as I'm dealing with family things, but take heart, dear reader, God is moving in some mighty big ways, even on days I'm not here. When there is a word for you, I will be faithful to return.

Here I am today. God and I have been having some pretty great conversations and some interesting things are occurring around my life. My future sister-in-law texted me a couple weeks ago and asked if I wanted to do a Bible study together. I had been meaning to "get around to it" but had not looked about for one, so this was the impetus I needed. (On a side note: My mother was a perfectionist who would occasionally procrastinate, so one of her friends gave her a round wooden coin with a magnet on the back and the words, "Round Tuit" in curved text around the outer edges. They told her, "You always say you'll do such and such when you 'get around to it' so here ya go! No more excuses!" To this day, every single time I hear that phrase, I think of that magnet my mother kept on her fridge!!) So, my fsil was my proverbial "round tuit." It was then I searched a study by my favorite Bible study author, and found a Beth Moore study.

I love Beth Moore studies! She reminds me of southern iced tea, refreshing and sweet, while helping you quench your thirst. She is the founder and leader of Living Proof Ministries and can I tell you, she writes a mean Bible Study! You can come into a Beth Moore Bible Study as a brand-bottom-spankin' new Christian a few measly hours old and by the end of the 6 week study you've sojourned with her, you'll come out wizened and learned, and best of all, you'll be chompin' at the bit, ready to go again. If only it didn't take her 2 years to complete each study!!

While doing a Beth Moore study, you simply cannot go a single day without diving deep into her 45 minute to hour long studies. And she's a Bible lover, so you'll be flipping through your Bible and learning the order of your books, I'll tell you that right up front! I would bet that half of the full-color underlining and highlighting in my Bible has come from "Ah-a!" moments that God has spoken to me personally through a Beth Moore Study. Even today, as I read from Chapter 1 in Genesis, God revealed 3 or 4 things to me I hadn't quite thought about or considered in that way before. (The purple notes are from today.)

In my best Beth Moore whisper-y, velvety-sweet, lovingly passionate, southern voice, "Isn't God amazing?! I mean, truly and inspirationally amazing?!? I never tire of reading His word and hearing His voice speak through the pages of this great Book!"

So, get on with it, Woman! What got you so fired up this morning?! Well, quite honestly... God Himself! Can I get a witness?? I started out by praying that God would show me what He had to teach me in the lesson today and I honestly couldn't keep up with everything He was teaching me... So the first thing I learned was this: I finally understand what all the fuss is about JOURNALING!!

In the past, I've tried to journal, but really, I didn't get it.. I've been doing it now for a few weeks.. taking notes, really, at church, as I read at home, as I pray at night.. but it has just not clicked until today what good that was doing. I mean, was I recording it for posterity's sake? Who would read these words scribbled on a page in a pretty leather bound book with scriptures adorning the pages? When I was rejoicing with our Savior, were my poor, devastated children going to find my journals in the attic and finally understand just how much time I really had spent in praying over them and fall to their knees out of guilt for their teen antics?!?

Today, though, today, journaling took me to a whole other level! As I read, God showed me one Truth after another and I couldn't keep up with everything He was showing me, so I jotted it down as I read..WOW! how much I would've forgotten by the time I got to the end had I not committed it to paper!

For example, I'll start with a small one, although is anything that God reveals to you personally, really ever "small?" Genesis 1: 30 says that God has "given every green plant for food." what?!? What about poison ivy? what about hemlock? Try eating some of that and you'll be seeing Christ's face pretty quickly... There are tons of poisonous plants, so why the disparity? Because sin. duh. Sin entered into the world and everything changed.. I mean, I knew that part, but God showed me today, in that little bitty phrase, that when HE CREATED IT, it was good, it was perfect. Sin caused it to be deadly towards us. And that explains SO MUCH of life, doesn't it, my sweet sisters and brothers?!?

Another example of something God made jump off the page, and this one is a HOT TOPIC today, I don't have to tell you, is in Genesis 1:27. It says, "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; MALE AND FEMALE He created them" (emphasis mine - and the point here). Reading this passage 20 years ago, or 10 years ago, or heck even in 2012, could you imagine why in the world would God put "male and female, He created them" in the text? Duh! Obviously, He created male and female.. God created Adam and Eve and they made babies, and so on, and so on, and so on... fast forward to this craziest of crazy times in which we live where judges are declaring birth certificates and legal documents are listing gender as "non-binary," "U" for unspecified/unknown, and "intersex."

Judge Rules Vet Not Male Or Female     Canada Issues Health Card with "U" Under Gender

One could argue here about those poor souls born with parts of both male and female reproductive organs but only one gender is outwardly apparent. In fact, I actually have a dear friend, who when we were close (BFFs for you young 'uns), SHE knew something was different and had feelings which didn't match her beliefs. It was a few years later a doctor confirmed this very condition. HE was able to see doctors and start treatment, and easily update his birth certificate to read MALE (all with little fuss and no media coverage). God has blessed him and he is now happily married to a lovely woman with a house full of children! My thoughts on this, in case you're interested, and interestingly enough, harken back that discussion we just had about why all plants WERE created as a food source and some now are deadly (and remember I just noted that this morning as well). Because when sin entered the world, the perfect was made imperfect. Over generations, imperfections are magnified and multiplied, creating new and bigger imperfections. Look around: cancer is on the rise, as are mental health issues (autism affects 1 in 43 American children, some studies say), as well as deadly diseases and viruses, like HIV, Zica, and others we can't imagine. All caused by that tiny little 3 letter word - SIN.

Boy, oh Boy! when you lead with something as controversial as all that, where do you go from there?!  How about following me to where I went? To the 23rd chapter of Job, verses 1-10. I'm struggling with some parenting concerns and I'm begging God to show me HIS will, show me HIS way.. I'm sometimes scared to death I'm going to cause permanent scars on the hearts of my little ones without even knowing it - although I know that God is Jehovah Rapha, The Lord Who Heals, and He can heal even that which I break.. but I don't want to break it in the first place! Does anyone feel me?!

Job 23: 1-7 (NASB)
Then Job replied, "Even today my complaint is rebellion; His hand is heavy despite my groaning. "Oh that I knew where I might find Him, that I might come to His seat!" I would present my case before Him, And fill my mouth with arguments. "I would learn the words which He would answer and perceive what He would say to me. "Would He contend with me by the greatness of His power? No, surely He would pay attention to me. "There the upright would reason with Him; And I would be delivered forever from my Judge."

So, God, through Beth Moore, took me to Job... poor Job. We all know his story.. He loved God and God blessed him with a large and happy family, great wealth, good standing in the community, and a happy life. Then Satan approached God and said it was easy for Job to praise God in the good times, but what about the not-so-good times? It was then God gave Satan permission to destroy all Job had, except, "do not put forth your hand on him" God told Satan. From there, and I'm sure with great joy, Satan went about killing all of Job's family, destroying his buildings, killing off his animals, and even destroying his place in the community, for even his friends Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuite, and Zophar the Naamthite believed he was being punished for unrepented sin and advised him to seek God's forgiveness. But never does Job waver in his belief in God. Never does he blame God nor does he curse God. In fact, we see him earnestly searching for God because if only he can lay forth his case before the "Judge" (God), "I would learn the words which He would answer, and perceive what He would say to me. ... Surely He would pay attention to me. There the upright [Job] would reason with Him; and I would be delivered from my Judge."
If you are innocent when going before a judge, you are certain he will see your innocence and help you find a solution, set you free from the burden which has been entangling you, and will help you to return to the normalcy of life. The guilty are not so eager to go before a judge, knowing his discernment can forever imprison them or even sentence them to death.

I have been coming to God, to my Jehovah Tsidkenu, the Lord our Righteous, much like Job, and asking, no crying out for Him to be a just and fair Judge and "fix" the problems of my children. So, I read this, saying, "YES, Abba! Yes! This is me. Lord, hear me and judge me righteous."
        Here's a bit from my personal journal after reading that passage in Job, "Wow! God, in Job, just nailed it for me! If God would only come forward to me then He would surely see what we've been trying to do right [in regards to raising our kids] and failing, it seems, miserably at doing! Show me your ways. I will do ANYTHING it takes to make things right..."

I continued reading, at Beth's urging, and concluded my journaling with writing out Psalm 139:7-10.

It was in journaling these great words of the Psalmist David, not just reading them, but putting pen to paper and writing them while praying them  earnestly for me personally, that I realized God was giving me my answer (of sorts). "Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven You are there. If I make my bed in Sheol, Behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there, You hand will guide me. And your right hand will lay hold of me." God is Jehovah Shemmah, The Lord is Always There, Always Present. I *KNOW* this... and maybe, the Truth is, I've been taking it - HIM - for granted.

My spiritual gift is faith, which can cause my prayer life to be a bit shallow, because I *KNOW* He's got this.. I know that "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 NASB, so sometimes I take it for granted that it's all going to work out and I don't pray as much as I should.

Well, that is not good enough for God. Just because your husband KNOWS you love him doesn't mean you should stop telling him that. Just because your husband KNOWS you enjoy his company and you respect the stellar job he's doing at providing for his family and for you doesn't mean he doesn't want you to tell him. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Without that communication, you lose your intimacy, resentment builds, and your relationship will fall apart.

Sometimes, even though I know God is always with me, I must truly seek Him.. I need to lay aside my familiarity with Him and cry out to Him with everything I am. God is a jealous God and I've been taking Him for granted. He wants to be appreciated and worshipped and not just thanked for a good parking spot at the grocery store! I've been too familiar with Him. It's akin to being the wife of the king of a country... the man needs familiarity and intimacy, but the king demands reverence and awe and respect, because he is regent. God is not dissimilar; He is, after all, not just my Abba Daddy, but also the Supreme Creator of the Universe,  the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, the God of Wonders. WOW!

Forgive me, Lord for taking you for granted. For even this very morning, as I cleaned up after my kids, I thought 1 day a year isn't enough gratitude for all I do as a mother, yet, I, in my relationship with you, have done the very same day. Lord, I praise your Holy Name, El Elyon, The Lord Most High. 

Amen.