The Word was with God, Is God, Is Love, And the Importance of Being an Excellent Wife

My mother always taught to be careful of the words you speak out, that words have power. When God created the heavens and the earth, God SAID, "Let there be light." (Genesis 1:30) He didn't create light from His hands, He SPOKE it. John tells us in verse 1 of chapter 1 of his gospel, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." While I won't pretend to understand everything (or even most) of what I'm sure that really means, I can at the very least, read the outermost meaning - God is the Word - so words must matter. I found this great video offering an idea of the God being Love being Truth being the Word.

And this video which tells of how we should be living IN THE Word, which is living in God. Just this part of my study is probably enough for today's blog!! wow!

Also, God tells us to carry his Word with us in our hearts. His word, most times, we think of as the bible, but John tells us it is also God.. and we learn through reading the bible to keep God in our hearts! So, follow me here... God is the Word, the bible is the Word, God's Word is the bible, and we're to keep both God and the Word of God in our hearts!! oooohh, I just got chills!
                                A=God                                                              B=Word

                                C= keep in our hearts                                      D=Bible
It's been a long, trying past 6 months to a year. When you have a life verse/chapter such as James 1, it can offer you amazing guidelines and help at almost any point for almost any situation. It's almost like "Christian living: 101." But it can also be pretty heavy. And it got me thinking, am I creating more struggles by claiming this verse/passage as "my" verse? This is where the whole power of the word comes into play.

Consider it Pure JOY when you encounter various trials... When you start out your day saying these words, are you encouraging yourself to be prepared to praise God no matter what happens that day OR are you sort of setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy that you WILL encounter various trials!? hmmm...

So, I thought I would take my mind "off" that passage for a while and do something a bit more upbeat and cheerful. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying, "Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all." Proverbs 31:28,29  THAT'S WHAT I WANT!! Sign me up!

Well, there's only one problem with that... context. When read in context, it's just as heavy as James. Where James 1 might be "How to be a good Christian: 101," Proverbs 31 (in context, you must read 10-23) would be "How to be the perfect Christian WIFE: 101." Cuz, no pressure there, right?!

I mean, the world - and SOCIAL MEDIA & BLOGS - are everywhere telling me how to be the perfect wife/mother/woman. I must work-out to be skinny. I must work outside the home, preferably making at least as much, if not more than, my husband. I must wear high heels and make-up and have my hair done perfectly at all times. I must be a superb chef, preparing all my meals in above-mentioned heels. I bake for family get-togethers, and when the church needs me I am there with my largest smile. I must laugh with my friends (which means I must have time to have friends!). And I must be a volunteer with the PTA, the local food pantry, the Pet Shelter, and buy lattes for the person in line behind me. And of course, be present when your family arrives home, looking like you spent the day resting.

With that as the world's standard, I can only imagine what God's standard must be, right? The Proverbs 31 woman must be impossible, so why try? Why bother? Being the "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" kind of gal I am, I was reminded of a saying I heard which I enjoy and tell my children. "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." - Brian Littrell

And with that I began reading: 10: An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels 11: The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. I've been working on reading a book on Winston Churchill, who is renowned for loving his wife abundantly. He said this:

10: An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. a cross-reference here to Proverbs 12:4 says "an excellent wife is THE CROWN of her husband" (emphasis mine). Crowns show the king's wealth: a small crown = a small kingdom, a large crown = a large kingdom. Crowns also represent the king's power, legitimacy, victory, triumph, honor, and glory. WOW! If that doesn't make you reconsider the importance you play in your husband's life, I don't know what would. Finally, the crown is the last thing a monarch would put on... the icing on the cake, the crown on the king... the wife/crown is what completes him, to sound very Tom Cruise in "Jerry Maguire" -esque.

11: The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.  This one is pretty deep. Whether we stay-at-home, work-from-home, work-at-work, or whatever, we are, I believe, wives first. The importance of the biblical, Godly wife is so critical, and so underplayed, and condemned in today's world; instead of being held in high regard and great esteem, she is scorned and belitted.

I used to jokingly say (used to, as in up until this very moment), that being a biblical wife was easy. God says we're in authority to our husbands, so all I have to do is obey him, whether I agree with his decisions or not, and that is for what I will answer to God on judgment day. It is the husband, who must make decisions for the family, who must stand before God on judgement day and answer for those decisions.  God calls us to be under the authority of our husbands but here God tells us we have much to do with our husband's success! When the wife is excellent (UGH! WHEN the wife is excellent.. and didn't the verse above say, "an excellent wife, WHO CAN FIND?!?) no pressure there..

But when the wife IS excellent, the husband will have no lack of gain.. that doesn't mean that he'll gain weight at home cuz she's an excellent cook! That means, that when a wife is trustworthy (reliable, dependable, honest, honorable, upright, principled, true, truthful, as good as her word, ethical, virtuous, incorruptible, unimpeachable, above suspicion), the husband will be successful in all other areas of life.

Do you hear this? Are you as convicted of this as I am? This is a hard one to swallow, God. So, not only do I have to excellent in order to have my husband's trust (wait! did you see that one?! It slipped through without us discussing it... I need to be excellent in order to for him to trust me? It doesn't just happen?!? another truth bomb to digest!)

So, not only do I have to be excellent (and an excellent wife, who can find?) to earn my husband's trust, I am also called to be excellent as a Christian (as we all are), and now I am told that the success of my husband, and ultimately my entire family, relies on my ability to be an excellent wife. I need some time to digest that one..

I will end today's entry on a sweet note about marriage, as we ponder all that God asks of us as wives, in just these first 2 verses of my "light word of study..." About marriage it is written in Matthew 10: 4-6, "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate."  If we are no longer 2, but are now 1, as God's WORD commands, then our desire to be an excellent wife is the same as being an excellent woman of God/the Word/Words. (don't get me started on that one again!)

Consider it Pure Joy.. Wait! Even Pain?

Experiencing pain is something I've done pretty much my entire life. At the age of 20, I began to succumb to migraine headaches. These migraines were not the "couple days a month/few times a year" type of migraine: these were full-on, 20 hours a day, wake me up from sleep, hurts to blink, type of migraine which would last as many as 24 days per month. What I thought was one really long-lasting migraine which I could suppress a bit with the medication, but not actually make go away, I came to know were actually 3 - 5 migraines per day. Sometimes behind my eyes, sometimes at the base of my neck, sometimes in my ears, sometimes in my sinuses, sometimes on one or the other side of my head.. but always, pain, excruciating pain. 

I was blessed. I had full treatment options due to being in the military. Afterwards, I was in college and I got greatly discounted treatment at the campus clinic. I even learned biofeedback while attending UT, which is a fancy way of saying, "teaching yourself to relax" but it worked, and it cost nothing!

I was in the Air Force when I was diagnosed, so I never had the option of sitting in my darkened room, waiting for relief because I was a US Airman and I had to report to duty or be dead, basically. This helped me to understand that I'd much rather be doing something and distracted from the pain than sitting alone in the dark thinking about how much my head/face/teeth/neck/eyes/scalp hurt.

In addition to that, I have always been a "glass half full" kind of gal.. actually, I see the glass as completely full, half of liquid and half of air - the stuff you can't see but that lifts you up! :) I have told myself since day one of discovering that I got migraines, "It could be worse, you could have _____________." (fill in the blank with something incurable, deadly, incapacitating, etc.)

Fast forward; somewhere around 13 years ago (around age 34), I began to experience pretty bad pain at the base of my skull, neck, top of my back, and shoulder area. It gets better and worse and I have been managing it with epidual steroid injections, cervical epidural steroid injections, intermittent-use muscle relaxers, and stretching and rolling with special hard foam rollers.

At the age of 43 or 44 (about 3 or 4 years ago), I got adult onset epilepsy - 😳 - BOOM! out of the blue... cuz I didn't have enough going on, I guess! Actually, I thought, "I guess God has a really high idea of what I can handle!"

About 2 years ago, the pain in my back became much worse and the steroid injections stopped working as well. So, I had a different procedure done, called a Radio Frequency Ablation which burns the nerve causing the pain. (don't let the doc in this video fool ya', that "mild discomfort you may feel" is down-right some of the most intense pain of my life! and that, my friend, is saying something!)

Unfortunately for those with my condition, nerves grow back, so less than year later, the pain came back and brought some friends. Until the last 6 months of so, that pain has been manageable, but as of the last 6 months, I'm at the point of pain meds every day (although I actually, I try to skip it to every OTHER day so I don't become dependent on them).

Again, I praise God that I live in a first world country and have access to the best healthcare on the planet. And again, I thank Christ for not having something worse. I do have to take medicine daily for my epilepsy and migraines, but I am still able to have a life and live independently.

Occasionally, it does get to me... the neck/shoulder/upper back pain especially gets to me. And it is in those times I get miserable and feel sorry for myself and whine and cry and lash out at God. I will cry out and ask Him, "What do you want me to learn? What is it that I'm not seeing? I praise You for this, but I ask for healing should it be Your will. If it's not Your will for my healing, Lord, then please show me why!!" Then when I calm down and rest, it is then when I am ready most to listen to Him... even though He is talking to me always.

I have long considered the first chapter of James to be my "life verse." 😂😂😂  A life verse is something to which you feel especially drawn, or it could be something someone speaks over you. It can be for your entire life or for a season. For me, it's been the last several years that the entire first chapter of James, but especially James 1:2 has just spoken to my heart and I've held it dear; partially for the pain I've experienced daily, partially for other various daily ins and outs. It reads like this:

So, whenever trials of any shape, size, or significance arise, I simply say this verse to myself. I even broke it down, word by word in the original Greek, and studied it. The word "joy" here means to have the kind of exuberant exhilaration and excitement one would have at, say a concert or live sporting event... literally jumping up and down for joy! what what!??! for my trials?

Even with my vast lifetime of experience at swallowing medications, that was a tough pill to swallow! (*groan*, I know)  But, eventually, I was able to take heart in times of trouble and tribulation and praise the Lord with thanksgiving. It's an ongoing struggle, don't get me wrong! My back hurts sometimes so badly I'm almost crying to get up out of bed, to lie down, to stand up, to sit.. On those days, it is particularly challenging to "JUMP FOR JOY." It is also on those days I remind myself that I am still ABLE to do so and it is my choice to live for the Lord or to let the evil one have a victory. Sometimes those praises sound like, "Okay, Lord, I don't understand but I'll praise You anyway" but throughout the day, I count it victory when it is able to work itself up to a "Hallelujah! You are my God and I'm so glad to have You!! Without You, even with these struggles I wouldn't be able to handle."

I had a thought one day, what if the reason I am going through what I am is because one of my precious littles will face something even worse, but will look back and remember my strength, given to me through Christ Jesus, will support them and keep them secure and safe and on track with Him.

I was going somewhere else with this completely when I started, but I'll end it here, trusting God has a point for my digression.

Where I Got the Name for my Blog

I had 4 kids in 5 years. Let that sink in for a moment. 😲

This is day #4 was born... #3 wouldn't have anything to do with him... She was NOT interested in losing her place as baby of the family! LoL  (She came around by the next day at home.)

Before I knew we were pregnant with our fourth child in as many years, I stood one day watching my 3 little darling babies chasing each other in circles around the house, squealing at once with both delight and terror, depending upon who was the chase-ER and who was the chase-EE, and of course who got overrun, who wound up on the bottom of the heap, and ultimately, who ended up with the item of interest which had created this chase scene to rival any of the best to come out of Hollywood since Steve McQueen's in Bullitt. 

                                    

I thought to myself, "Can you imagine if you had 4 kids instead of 3?" To which I promptly replied (to myself!), "I couldn't handle it!" It was in that moment, God spoke to me as clearly as if He were standing next to me. "No, you couldn't, but I can." 

Our family, with only 3 kids in 4 years. This is about the same time as the infamous chase scene and the profound moment God promised He could (and would) handle 4 of these little buggers in 5 years!

I was a bit startled by a voice so obviously in my head, but so spring water clear. I knew at once it was the Great I Am speaking to me. I also immediately pondered the unusual grammar of the sentence. He said I "couldn't" but He "can." To have both clauses match in syntax, it should've been either, I "couldn't" but He "could" - OR - you "can't" but I "can." It's a little thing, but is significant because, I came to realize months later, it was a prophetic promise, just for me, and THAT is way cool, yo!

Within a month, we discovered what we came to call our "Shock and Awe Baby" as that not only described our feeling knowing we would be parents of 4 babies born in 5 years, but it was the same time America was entering Iraq in search of Saddam Hussein using what the media called "Shock and Awe" tactics.

My little-bitties a few months before the "Shock and Awe" news of baby #4.

Amazingly enough, I forgot this very personal, prophetic, message given to me directly from the God of the universe, El Elyon (The Most High God), Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Will Provide), and Jehovah Shalom (The Lord Is Peace). We had anxiety about the pregnancy because I had high blood pressure, not quite high enough to be very troubling, but high enough to be concerned. Then came the delivery of my amazing 10 and 1/2 pound baby boy (yes, natural delivery for those mamas who are reading that number! ha!) which required almost double the maximum recommended amount of Pitocin and an eexxxtttrrrraaaaaa long delivery.

About 8 weeks later, it was time for our very first outing away from home. We decided to start it out easy, go somewhere safe, where we were comfortable, and would have loads of support. We went to church. We spent what seemed forever getting ready!! Imagine trying to get 4 babies ranging in age from 8 weeks to 3 years old all fed, clothed in Sunday best, groomed, and ready to be buckled in car seats requiring a Master's Degree in Engineering to operate, only to then realize you yourself are still in your house robe and slippers! It was like a circle of madness, by the time we had everyone fed and dressed, it was time to feed someone again, or change a diaper, or clean the spit up from their clothes, or...

Finally, we made it out the door and to church... and at only 20 minutes late, we felt like Rock Stars! As I was dropping off this beautiful newborn creation to the hands of a loving childcare volunteer in the nursery who was ooohing and aahhhing over him, she asked how I was holding up. I explained how challenging it was to have 4 children at all, but even more so when they're this close together. I just barely had the oldest potty trained and the other 3 children were still in diapers. She grinned and nodded to me with a sympathetic, "I don't know how you can handle all of these children so close together."

In a flash, I remembered the promise of my Lord that I wouldn't be able to handle them, but that HE CAN (and will) handle them for me. Of course, that meant Giving In And Letting Go. And therein lies the rub.